Saturday, October 19, 2013

The Alternative to 21: From Plastered to 'Pay it Forward'

"We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give." - Winston Churchill 

As I sit down on my 21st birthday, contemplating the evening that society has determined for me, I ponder where I am today, what I have done, and all that I hope to accomplish in the future. Life seems to be moving like a spaceship, exponentially gaining speed until one day we hit zero gravity. And when you find yourself in space staring at the stars, the moon, the future, where will you go? What do you do when you find yourself at a time and place where life sits still? You evaluate your decisions, successes, commitments to others, family, friends, and opportunities both missed and taken. You continue to move forward, but where are you going? Are you just floating and spinning, or are you making an effort to create change, progress, innovation and proactivity. Most importantly, when you stop and stare at those stars, lost in thought, where do you see yourself years from now? Wherever life will take you is certainly up to you, and at 21, its time to look at those stars and lay the path for the life you have always wanted. As my good friend Dr. Suess always tells me,
“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go...”

 It seems that many of us termed, "millennials" find ourselves more confused and lost as time goes by. We are stuck in moments of making important decisions that will determine our future, but many don't understand that right now is the time to live up to your age, take responsibility for your actions, and create the change you wish to see. Many of my friends think I am crazy when I say that, "21 means you are half way to 42," but it's true.  Get up, grow up, and start creating stepping stones for your dreams. A wonderful business mentor of mine always tells me that I should never listen to anyone who says that these are the "best years of my life" because they aren't making the most of their lives now. The truth is, 21 is the time to understand something that many people are never fortunate enough to fully comprehend: that life does not revolve around you, nor should it. Take this time to sit down and realize that you get what you give, and whatever you give determines the legacy you will leave for our fellow man.

So, how can you begin? The norms of our culture claim that on your 21st birthday you are destined to be plastered. Why? Because you are finally "legal?" Because you can finally live up to your age with your head on a toilet, and stomach in your throat. Congratulations, you have already celebrated like you were 21 since you were 17, but now what? You sit there again, just as hungover as the person you were 4 years ago. You are lost and confused and oh there goes another day. The world does not care about the silly decisions you make on your birthdays, and you won't care for them either.  It's time to take the norm of our culture and create it into something more powerful, meaningful, and significant to the grand scheme of our lives.

A dear friend of mine by the name of Kayla Allen showed me exactly how to celebrate your birthday in all the right ways. On her 20th birthday, she took a big step forward, for herself and for society. She decided to conduct 20 acts of kindness for our world and serve the prodigious people living their everyday lives. A simple idea done with much love, Kayla demonstrated what it means to truly celebrate your birth- the gift of life. Instead of obsessing over superficial birthday items, Kayla decided to give back. She inspired me through her 20 simple deeds, and I am honored to celebrate my birth in a way that seeks to serve our fellow man. So here I am, 21 years old, and ready for how I can be challenged as a friend, citizen, son, brother, and someday husband and father. It is not a day about me, or society's norms, but instead an idea for all: a day to celebrate gratitude, and a commitment to serving others.

So here it goes, 21 acts of kindness for my 21st birthday….

Meet the Team 
Sara, David, Virginia, Cody, Stephanie, Aris

  
Act 1. Make PB & J for the Homeless

As a member of the American Marketing Association, I had the opportunity to participate in a simple deed to make PB & J for the Saint. Francis House in Gainesville, FL. Thanks to the AMA, over 200 sandwiches were made.

Fact: In America, 1 in 6 people face hunger everyday, and 950 million face hunger worldwide everyday. Think about it.


Act 2: Feed the Homeless 
The first mission of the day included a very important deed to serve those who are not as fortunate as anyone reading this blog. A lot can be learned from the homeless, and I encourage everyone not to judge, but to understand. As C.S. Lewis said, "As long as you are proud you cannot know God. A proud man is always looking down on thing and people: and, of course, as long as you are looking down you cannot see something that is above you."



Act 3: Give something personal to someone else
I like to buy a hat in each destination this glorious world takes me. One of my favorite hats was one my parents gave me on a trip to Maine. My friend, Cody was wearing it when a homeless man approached him and asked if he could have it. Cody smiled, made eye contact with me and I smiled right back. Items can be replaced, but precious moments that challenge us to give as humans cannot be replaced nor forgotten. A simple item may have no meaning to you, but may be a token of hope for someone else. "Real Generosity in the future lies in giving all to the present." Albert Camus

Act 4: Feed a Parking Meter
A simple deed that can save our fellow man a ticket, or $150 bucks tow away. 
Act 5: Put away carts at a grocery store. Just do it. 

Act 6: Give a stranger a $10 gift card to a grocery store.

Lesson: You never will know what goes on in someone's life until you befriend them."Never lose sight of the fact that the most important yardstick of your success will be how you treat other people- your family, friends, and coworkers, and even strangers you meet along the way." Barbara Bush


Act 7: Purchase food and create a care package for the homeless

A very simple deed that takes only a few minutes, but can save someone from feeling hungry. We purchased water, sweets, peanut butter, apple sauce, energy bars, and collected coupons for the homeless. This was one of my favorite deeds because you have the power to directly influence those who need simple items, and in turn you can learn a great deal about them as we later saw during the day.

Act 8: Deliver Flowers to a special lady 

I have never met a woman who doesn't like flowers. This was one of my favorite acts because the smile from this stranger was absolutely priceless. A stranger she was before, and a friend she is now.


Act 9: Pay for Someone's Lunch

A very simple deed that can go a long way. A smile and a thank you are all you need to do this act, there is no such thing as I can't."If you can't feed a hundred people, then just feed one." Mother Teresa


Act 10: Invite someone to a free a car wash 

 This was a fun deed. When I approached this stranger, she looked a bit skeptical. I told her that I would like to pay for her car to be washed and her eyes lit up replying, "bless your heart."  The other great thing about conducting acts of kindness is that it challenges you to be an effective communicator. Most people don't know what to think when a random stranger tries to offer something to them, and many people are scared to approach strangers. Simply explaining your mission from the heart, shaking their hand, and leaving with a smile can seal any deal of service.



Act 11: Give a Balloon to a child. Go Gators.




Act 12: Pay it Forward at Starbucks

Who doesn't love free coffee? "A little thought and a little kindness are often worth more than a great deal of money." John Ruskin

 

 Act 13: Deliver Care Packages 

This act was hands down one of my favorite acts of the day. Putting together care packages are a way to show that you create can create hope by displaying generosity and thought. There is no greater feeling then giving, and by completing this act, you can truly see where your time, effort, and money goes. Not only this, but we spoke with our new friends for a while about the challenges of being homeless. It is important to acknowledge the homeless. Even if you make eye contact and smile, you give them hope for a better tomorrow. Our pride is the only thing getting in the way. "What we have found in this country, and maybe we're more aware of it now, is one problem that we've had, even in the best of times, and that is the people who are sleeping on the grates, the homeless, you might say by choice." Ronald Reagan

Lessons from our friends: One of the ladies named Sammy mentioned that she had been living in an expensive apartment 2 years prior to where she was today. She explained how abusing drugs and alcohol destroyed her life and marriage. We learned a lot from this great lady about giving as well. Earlier that day at the St. Francis House, Sammy was helping the other homeless people in the challenges that they had in their lives.  What is so humbling about humanity is the innate desire to help our fellow man. Even when you have nothing, you can still dedicate your life to serving others. She said her dog, Ginger was her savior and she is "grateful to God everyday for two feet on the ground and a beer in her hand." 




Act 14: Give a cold bottle of water to a bus driver. 

The picture says it all. When I started explaining my age and what I was doing, our bus driver friend looked at me like I was going to ask if I could drive the bus... she wasn't into it. The minute I said, "I would like to thank you for what you do," a beaming smile and a hug was the best response we could have received.

Lesson: Saying thank you goes a long way. Being a bus driver is not an easy profession, so why not make their lives easier by using simple gratitude and manners. "Silent gratitude isn't much use to anyone." G.B. Stern



Act 15: Give a Baguette and a T-Shirt to someone in need 

Having lived in France, a baguette everyday is a necessary item for survival. Once again, food and clothing, our primary needs are often overlooked. It is a great honor to show those in need what the world is truly about. "We think sometimes that poverty is only being hungry, naked and homeless. The poverty of being unwanted, unloved, and uncared for is the greatest poverty. We must start in our own homes to remedy this kind of poverty." Mother Teresa

Act 16: Deliver good dessert to University Police 
Cupcakes. Yes. 
 Act 17: Put some change on a Vending Machine


Act 18: Pay for someone's laundry

As a college student, I don't believe in laundry. When I do laundry once a month, I never seem to have the exact change necessary for the machines. I hope whoever received these quarters enjoyed this deed. 


Act 19: Take out the garbage

Sometimes when you look for opportunities, you can't seem to find them. Most of the time, we simply aren't looking hard enough. When I returned to my residence hall, there were 3 garbage bags that our maintenance staff had collected. We approached them with a smile, thanked them for their service, and took the trash. "Appreciation is a wonderful thing. It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well." Voltaire


Act 20: Write a thank you card 

A simple lesson learned from one of my mentors is to always write a thank you card. I decided to write one to our floor's cleaning staff. "Make it a habit to tell people thank you. To express your appreciation, sincerely and without the expectation of anything in return. Truly appreciate those around you and you'll soon find many others around you. Truly appreciate life, and you'll find that you have more of it."  Ralph Marston

Act 21: A personal commitment to continue this tradition for every birthday I am blessed with in life. Will you join me?

"Do what you can, with what you have, where you are." Teddy Roosevelt

Take care, 

David T. Habib

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